Making the day easier with dementia

Memory loss is the part everyone knows about. The part families find hardest is the agitation, the repetition and the resistance at bath time — and those respond to how the day is arranged far more than to explanation.

Keep the shape of the day the same

Same waking time, same meal times, same order of things. Predictability does the work that memory no longer can, and a familiar sequence removes dozens of small decisions.

Put the demanding tasks — bathing, appointments, outings — in the part of the day when they are usually at their best, most often the morning.

Do not correct, redirect

Being told they are wrong about a fact does not restore the fact; it produces distress that outlasts the conversation. Acknowledge the feeling, then move to something else — a task, a photograph, going to another room.

Repeated questions are usually anxiety wearing a factual costume. Answering the worry calms it; answering the question does not.

Reduce what the room demands

• One thing at a time — television off during meals and conversation.
• Good lighting, especially late afternoon, when confusion often worsens.
• Clear labels on doors and drawers.
• Something identifying on the person, in case they walk out.

A sudden worsening over days — not months — is often infection, pain or a new medicine rather than the dementia itself. That is worth a doctor, promptly.